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Memory of a past mistake

I thought of you
as it sometimes happens
and I wondered
why I care
it should not matter
not this much
after all
its been a long time
and the relationship
such as it was
had its effect on only me
you either could not
or would not
feel the way I did
you shut me out
refusing all I offered
and it was everything
that made me what I am
I tried to hate you
but found it impossible
I only feel betrayed
cheated out of something
rightfully mine
do you think of me
I am older now
but not much wiser
I still think of you
and though scars you created
have healed
leaving me numb
and confused
I loved
you did not
that was the mistake

by: Karen Damon 1986